Introduction
We're all so different so we claim, but the parts they are the same. I mean, more than all the differences by far. ~ Chris Ayer

July 2013
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There is Something in Everything

Yet another column
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& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
Stress is a killer
Tags: life

I have to go traffic court on Friday, and I'm so stressed out about it, I'm making myself physically ill. Today, my bosses sent me home early, as I was talking to them about the court date, and all the blood drained from my face.

They think I'm sick, not freaking out. To be fair, I can't sleep and can't eat without wanting to vomit.

I had several unpaid parking tickets that I forgot about, my registration was suspended, and then I got pulled over and informed, and given several tickets. Last stupid mistake of my 20s. I sent the money to pay off the fine, but I don't know if it's there or not, and idk what'll happen at court if the suspension isn't lifted by the time I get there.

It's even worse, because they're not in my town, so I can't even hit up my own DMV. I have to make some phone calls tomorrow.

This entry was originally posted at http://sometimesyoufly.dreamwidth.org/3430.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
Sam Adams and the Third Voyage*
Tags: personal

Spent all day out with friends, drinking drinking and watching TV.

Drinking double IPAs, no less. I was drunk by 2pm. We then proceeded to watch several hours worth of a show I had never heard of, on the Science Channel, called Oddities. Weird shit, but interesting enough.

I'm counting down the days until PAX (12 day, 9 hours), but I haven't even started on my costume. Luckily, I'm just doing Vanellope Von Schweetz from Wreck-It Ralph, and it's pretty simple. I just need to find a hoodie, because the one I was going to buy (pre losing my job) is $40 and that's just too much to spend when I don't have the same income that I had a month ago. Thrift store shopping tomorrow, and then I'll hit up Kohls & Target and hope that I can find a mint green hoodie for $20 or less.

For tonight, though, it's nearly 1am and I can't decide if I want to crash early (hahahahaha) or stay up and watch movies, write, or read - either comics or books, too.

Decisions, decisions.

*I drank maybe three or four of this beer. It's 8% ABV and delicious.

This entry was originally posted at http://sometimesyoufly.dreamwidth.org/3198.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

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The Future Isn't Written in Stone (and Even if it Were, Stone can be Broken)

Today was a good day.

I suppose I should preface that, as I had posted on tumblr a few days ago but neglected to update here.

I lost my job on Thursday. It was a good job, with good pay and really sweet benefits and once upon a time, I absolutely loved it. But times change, and companies change, and as someplace that always felt like a small town store melded into the corporate feel, my job wasn't what it was anymore. While I still loved what I did, I was so tired of the politics and the backstabbing and the always having to be on guard with everything I said.

(Those of you who know me well, know that I'm a very blunt person. 'Candidly honest' I've been called. I don't deal well with bullshit.)

So things changed, I was unhappy and then I got fired.

It was a shock, not gonna lie. And there was this sick feeling in my stomach, a question about how I'm going to pay my bills, make it through the month, put gas in my car. But in telling people that I was fired, I got a job interview less than 24 hours after the fact.

And then, there was just this feeling of relief. I'm relieved that it's over. I honestly don't miss the job, just the people and the ones that were my friends? We're still going to be friends.

I can put all that focus from a job that was exhausting me into doing something that makes me happy again. I can spend two hours on my makeup, I can write erotica, make a fanmix. Work on a card game concept that we keep talking about, but never do. Start making vlogs with makeup advice, and take clients on the side.

It's the advice that I keep hearing, but never had the courage to follow: Do what you love, the money will follow. Today I met with a client, spent four hours working on a webpage, went to a fantastic dinner afterwards. Did some networking, gave out my email. Time to rebuild a website that doesn't have fannish stuff all over it, work on myself a little.

I also posted a little Darcy/Steve ficlet that I wrote in 20 minutes, and people really like it! That's always a great ego boost, haha. Thank goodness for fandom.

I'm honestly excited about what the future has in store for me.

This entry was originally posted at http://sometimesyoufly.dreamwidth.org/2821.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Current Mood excited

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
(no subject)

Sometimes, I think I forget that my feelings are valid. That it's okay to be upset with a friend and it's not the end of the world.
I'm barely even comfortable talking about there here... )

This entry was originally posted at http://sometimesyoufly.dreamwidth.org/2635.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

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(no subject)
Tags: juicing

I'm on day three of a Juice diet. Juice Reboot, if you will. A few months back I watch Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead and it sorta got me thinking about trying it out.

So three days in, I've modified it a little by adding a small amount of protein (a handful of almonds, a small piece of chicken breast) and I kinda don't mind it too much? It's weird, I'm not really hungry, and when I get to be, I just drink my juice.

The first day, I made a celery, kale, apple, lemon, ginger mix, yesterday I did carrots, apples, orange, ginger, and today I did the same as the first day, but added pears and swapped out the lemon for an orange. I want to make a beet juice, but it wasn't on sale yesterday, and my dad (who said he's hit the store for me) didn't make it out today.

I did have some major headaches day 1 & 2, but so far today seems okay? Apparently that's the toxins leaving my body, which is cool. I've also lost 4lbs in 3 days. Probably a lot of water weight, but that's okay. I'll take it.

Tomorrow I'm going to a Super Bowl party, which will probably be really tough. I plan on going armed with one bottle of water, and one bottle filled with carrots, apples, pears, lemons, and ginger. I'm all out of green leafy things, which means I'll have to go to the store tomorrow before the party. I'll need fresh veggies before Monday morning.

The only problem, is how expensive this is. It's about $7 a day, which I know isn't actually that bad, but since I live at home, I just eat my mother's cooking, which saves me a lot of money. But I'm not buying organic all the time, so that saves some money, and I'll probably go to the cheaper grocery store tomorrow.

...Unless I could leave my parents a shopping list of things I need.

This entry was originally posted at http://sometimesyoufly.dreamwidth.org/2461.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
My heart has been erased

Anybody reading the Winter Soldier comic? Because I just read issue #14 and I'm ready to cry.

I've been through a lot of heartbreak with comic books. You grow a tough skin when you've been reading them since you're 7 years old, and dead still actually meant dead once a upon a time.

So you'd think I wouldn't be this heartbroken over this, right?

See the problem is, I always like the sidekick. I've always had a thing for Bucky even before I officially fell in love with the character, never mind how quickly Natasha/Bucky became an OTP.

So like, cut for spoilers for issues 14 )

This entry was originally posted at http://sometimesyoufly.dreamwidth.org/2125.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
(no subject)

I'm doing some blogging clean-up. Dreamwidth is going to be my main blogging outlet, though I'll be crossposting to both insanejournal and livejournal.

Please let me know if you have an account on DW. I will still be checking my flist on LJ, but NOT checking it on IJ. Too much to keep up to date with.

Just because I'm not checking the flist on IJ doesn't mean that I don't want to keep in touch with people! Friend me here, or on tumblr, or twitter! I still like you, even if we've lost touch in the years, I promise!

This entry was originally posted at http://sometimesyoufly.dreamwidth.org/1850.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
(no subject)

Day off. Today I succeeded in sleeping late, drinking tea (woke up with a sore throat. No bueno.), getting my hair colored, drinking a bottle of wine, and watching Suits.

I did not manage to make a new banner for my journal, or play with the theme, but maybe I'll work on that later this weekend.

Though I did start a new Darcy/Clint fic in my head. That'll probably make it's way to the computer soonish.

I should probably also find some friending memes so I can meet some new people on here.

This entry was originally posted at http://sometimesyoufly.dreamwidth.org/1662.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
(no subject)

Dusting off the ole blogging skills to go with my new(ish) tumblr skills.

I haven't really kept up to date with a journal in ages, like not since 2008?

But hey, new fandom, that I'm ACTUALLY involved in, writing fic and making fan mixes, and playing in RPs.

So let's try this again.

I miss making friends and writing down my thoughts.

This entry was originally posted at http://sometimesyoufly.dreamwidth.org/1386.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
but the rain is full of ghosts tonight

Work was crazy today. I think the post-holiday rush is even worse than the pre-holiday one, but at least nobody yelled at me. Still, out of the 1,518,475 people that live in Suffolk County, I'm fairly certain that 1,400,000 walked through our doors today.

I need a drink.

I'm a little bummed that I don't have a date for New Year's Eve, and this feeling makes me mad. I have never ever been the kind of girl that needed to have a boyfriend to feel good about herself, so why am I so depressed about the fact that I don't?

(Maybe it's the 8 million couples around me, all happy and busy making doe eyes at each other. Ugh.)

Oh well. Tomorrow night I will wear the MOST AWESOME DRESS EVER. Well, okay, it's just a red swing dress, but it's so pretty and that will make me happy.

This entry was originally posted at http://sometimesyoufly.dreamwidth.org/1149.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

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While we speak, time is envious

I crave the comfort of anonymity. The internet used to be a place for me to tell all my secrets to strangers who knew everything and nothing about me all at once. Now I feel like there is too much of me out there.

If you google my name, you can't find me. I'm glad for that, because though I'm the last generation that bridges the gap (I can actually remember life before the internet) I miss the days when I could say anything online without anybody in my real life knowing (or understanding) a single word.

I miss writing out my feelings without the fear of upsetting somebody. I miss being able to say anything, and not worry that somebody at work might use it against me. And maybe that's my own fault, sharing too much with friends and coworkers over Facebook and Twitter, but honestly, that's just the way the world works, these days.

But I don't have to like it.

My attempt at a quiet re-entry, on a night where I am rather maudlin. Forgive me.

This entry was originally posted at http://sometimesyoufly.dreamwidth.org/945.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
Sometimes you just need to be sad

So who remembers when I was in that cautiously optimistic relationship? The one that ended last week?

Yeah. About that.

I'm kind heartbroken, and trying desperately not to just spend all my time bawling like a baby. Things with Steve (the boy) weren't perfect and I'm not crazy enough to delude myself that they were, but I really liked him, and being with him made me really happy. We didn't even have a fight or anything. He just told me, that even though I was great (pretty and smart and he had a great time when he was with me and could talk to me for hours [and often did]) he wanted to slow down, so we could see other people. Basically, he wants to sleep with other girls.

I was not okay with that, which I told him, and so we ended things.

I am very sad. It's been about a week, and I still just want to cry. Haven't spoken to him, either, though I couldn't help myself and called a few times. He didn't answer. I know that he was upset, because he started crying before I did, and I know that he both liked me and cared about me, and I honestly just think he's so fucked up in the head from past relationships that he doesn't know a good one when it hits him over the head.

I am trying to move on. I have a date for Saturday night (ee!) which I can't help but feel guilty about. I'm not used to having more than one guy interested in me, and now a part of me can't help but think "Well, maybe Steve and I can see other people, and it wouldn't bother me..." which I know is just a giant lie, because HELLO SARAH! ARE YOU STUPID?! OF COURSE YOU'RE GOING TO BE JEALOUS! If after 4 months of being together, he can't say that he only wants to be with me, I don't think he'll ever be able to do that. But logic and reasoning don't really help.

I just keep telling myself that it's going to be okay, and that I will meet somebody else (which I kinda already did) and that I will get over Steve, but I all I really want to is to just stop feeling so sad.
Current Mood sad

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
So I should probably update this at some point, right?

I know, I know, long time no talk. I've been a bad blogger, but life just hasn't been that interesting for me to update.

Though. That's a lie.

I met a boy. A boy who may or may not be reading this, so we'll keep this part short. I met him the weekend before Christmas, at a Wizard Wrock show in New Jersey. His name is Steve, and it's only been a month and a half, but I dunno, I kinda like him. :-)

Clicky for pics of him! )

In work news, I sorta got a new 'promotion' at Apple. I say it like that, because there's no raise or anything, just a little more responsibility, but a lot of new experiences, which I'm really looking forward to. I'll be mentoring new hires, and just helping with training within the store. It'll be fun.

AND. Last but not least, I'm in a Wizard Wrock band! We're called The Christmas Crackin' Daddies, and we've got a bit of a swing sound. We've yet to record a song, but we did perform at that show that I met Steve at (though he was late, and didn't see me perform.) Once we've got some music recorded, I'll post them here for you all to listen to!
Current Mood happy
Current Music the boy on the phone

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
It burns. Like a crazy STD.

I am so tired of complaining about this to everybody and their mother, but oh god, my chest burns. This rash that I've got looks like it's getting better, but it's so uncomfortable, and I think it's partially from the cream that the doc gave me. It's econazole nitrate, and some of the side effects include burning & redness of the skin. I want to stop using it very badly, but I know can't. I am going to the dermatolgist tomorrow, and I'm hoping for something better. I started spreading aloe gel on it, which is soothing for like, three minutes.

In other news, I had a glorious day off, today. I'm completely caught up on TeeVee, and I started doing a bit of cleaning! Shocking, I know.

Who's watching Flashforward? Anybody?
Current Mood happy
Current Music Nothing Lasts Forever-Maroon 5-It Won't Be Soon Before Long

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
Today was a good day...

I had my yearly review at Apple today. It went well, even though I had a really tough year there. A few months ago, I had what we call a 'touchbase', which means that my manager and I sit down and talk about my time on the job, what's working, and what's not. Last year was a good clusterfuck for me, and my monthly showed that.

However.

As terrible as my monthly was, it kinda kicked me the ass to do better. And I did, apparently almost right away, too. So I knew my yearly was going to be a little tough, it was actually much better than I was expecting. The part talking about my strengths was glowing, and the part with my opportunities ended with "Sarah has recommitted herself to her job" which made me SO HAPPY.

There's nothing like working your butt off, and getting that acknowledgement that you needed. Also, I got a tiny raise, (4%) which is nice.

In other news, I WANT THESE: Special Edition Neil Gaiman's Smoke & Mirrors - Special Edition Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere - Lisa Snelling's Neil Gaiman Poppet (I might actually buy the last one... Also, anybody sensing a theme here? And yet I have no Neil icons... hm, this is an issue.)

WHY AM I NOT INDEPENDENTLY WEALTHY SO I CAN OWN MY OWN LIBRARY?!
Current Mood happy
Current Music Nothing Lasts Forever-Maroon 5-It Won't Be Soon Before Long

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
I am v. v. itchy

1. I've gotten my mother into Supernatural. She's a housewife, and complains that there's nothing on TV for her to watch during the day, so I set up the DVD player in the kitchen (the TV was always too old for a DVD player before) and taught her how to use it. And then I gave her my binder of 250 DVDs, opened it up to S1 of SPN and put the first disc in.

That was last week. She just started season 4 about an hour ago. I'm very proud of her, even if she thinks it's kinda silly (which you know, it kinda is... even if the boys are v. pretty).

2. I'm OBSESSED with Friday Night Lights. It's been streaming on Netflix, and when I finished that, I had to order season 3 from Amazon right away. Apparently, if you put hot boys in uniforms, I'll like anything. Including football.

3. I have a rash. I am miserable. I'm fairly certain it's a fungus, which is SO gross, because it's all over my neck and the underside of my chin. Last week, the doctor gave me steroid pack to take, and four days later, when it didn't get any better, and in fact, got a lot worse, AND I gave it to my coworker Justine, I went back and he gave me some anti-fungal cream. I feel very. very. very. Gross.

Ugh. I really just want to whine, lol.

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
Meme: A Sharing Week; Day Two

meme: a sharing week

Seven days of sharing; this is day two.

day one. a song.
day two. a picture )
day three. a book/ebook/fanfic
day four. a site
day five. a youtube clip
day six. a quote
day seven. whatever tickles your fancy

Day Two: My birthday in July 1st, right smack in the middle of the summer. For my Sweet Sixteen, I didn't have a giant party in a hall, like most girls... I had a costume party. So this picture is my and (at the time) my three best friends. We had dressed up as Spice Girls, and I was Scary Spice. It was a great party, and I loved our costumes, but this photo is vaguely bittersweet for me. Of those three girls, I'm only still friends with one of them, Sporty Spice, on the right.

Day One: the song is Running the Dark, Alone. It's by MaryBeth, and it's one of her Dr. Who/Torchwood songs, about Jack Harkness. It's utterly brilliant, and vaguly spoilery for Torchwood, but I haven't seen it yet, and I wasn't upset by the song. It's beautiful, and everybody should listen to it.

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
'Ello Folk - A Busy Week!

I have had an amazingly busy & fun week. I worked from Monday & Tuesday, got sick on Wednesday, so I called out of work, and ended up with 5 days off. Of which, today is the last day. It's been AMAZING. I was supposed to go down to Dragon*Con, but last minute plans fell through, so I stayed up in good ole New York instead.

BUT. There was awesome adventures anyway! My friend MaryBeth is a Wizard Rocker, or Wrocker, if you will. If are a Harry Potter fan, and you don't know what that is, you are missing out, let me tell you. She's a musican that makes music about Harry Potter, and there's a WHOLE genre of it on the internets. (Go to myspace.com/naginilove if you want to check her out, she's pretty good... ) Anyway, her friend Zoe is visiting from the UK, and she's also a Wrocker, so last Friday night, the two of them played a show in Brooklyn, which was awesome and super chill. It was Zoe first show in a long time, but she rocked it. I took some video, that I will be soon fashioning into something real to watch, I'll post it when I do.

Then we spent the rest of the week watching a TON of Dr. Who. MaryBeth recently got me into it, and OMG, I'm obessed. It's such a good show, I'm kicking myself for not watching it in the first place.

This past friday, we went to this recording studio that MaryBeth's friend John owns, and the two girls recording a joint album together, which sounds AMAZING. I can't wait for it to be finished mastering, I'm going to listen to the CD on repeat. It's half Harry Potter music, and half Dr. Who (which is called Trock [Time Lord Rock]). I also took video of that, it will be shared soon.

AND THEN, on Saturday we went to the Renn Faire. It was a day filled with sun and friends and meat on a stick and awesome. I took pictures!

Click for pics! )


And then I spent Sunday and today recovering. It was a long couple of days, lol.

Anyway, I like this meme thing, so....

meme: a sharing week

Seven days of sharing; this is day one.

day one. a song.
day two. a picture
day three. a book/ebook/fanfic
day four. a site
day five. a youtube clip
day six. a quote
day seven. whatever tickles your fancy


Day One: the song is Running the Dark, Alone. It's by MaryBeth, and it's one of her Dr. Who/Torchwood songs, about Jack Harkness. It's utterly brilliant, and vaguly spoilery for Torchwood, but I haven't seen it yet, and I wasn't upset by the song. It's beautiful, and everybody should listen to it.
Current Mood happy

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
I want this life so bad...

Danielle: lets just run away together
to romania
and become gypsys
*nods enthusiastically for the both of us
Sarah: ooh Instead of Romania, lets go to England and become recluse scholars
Danielle: oh good
i like that too
Sarah: we can get a little cottage
Danielle: awww
Sarah: and just line the walls with books
Danielle: YES
omg
this is making me jealous
Sarah: with a room with a southern view, with all glass
Danielle: i want this
with rich velvet
Sarah: that we can use for our art
Danielle: draperies
Sarah: and tapestries we make our selves
Danielle: with unicorns
Sarah:and mythical beasts

(This message brought to you by AIM and two forlorn and overly imaginative girls...)

& you tell me we are birds [userpic]
Um, Hi?

So I've been meaning to make this post for a LONG time, but for some reason or another, I just never got around to it. There are a lot of factors to this, but mostly I just wasn't feeling very fannish, or very inspired. Between work and real life, by the time I got to the internet, I was just too tired to participate in much.

However. I have recently been reinvigorated. Thank you Star Trek, Harry Potter & Dr Who. Also, thank you friends who make me watch TV when I'm not sure if I want to.

So my last update was on election day. That was um, 9 months ago? So um, I could attempt to recap all of that, but I won't do that too anybody. Basically, life happened. I went to work every day. I took a trip to Maine to see [info]rissaqjennings that was awesome; took a trip New Orleans to see my best friend that ended a friendship. Went to I-CON 28 and am now planning my trip to Dragon*Con. Hung out with all of my awesome friends, and recently re-evaluated who I considering 'awesome friends'. Also, am getting ready to start a Wizard Wrock band.

TL;DR - STUFF HAPPENED AND IT WAS BORING, PEOPLE.

Recently, I realized that I wasn't that happy with my life, so I decided to come back to the stuff that makes me smile. Fandom is that place, so here I am! I expect at some point in the very near future I'll be making graphics and stuff again. And maybe even doing a bit of drabbling once again.

So, did you miss me? (LIE TO ME PLEASE!)
Current Music Me And My Arrow-Harry Nilsson-The Point

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